What I learned last night? If something was supposed to happen between me and the other people that live here… I most definitely would not be her choice. I mean back in sec school when my other good friends used to speak about her, I flicking defended her regardless. Her response, “they’re my friends too.”
All my deepest thoughts seem to rise as soon as night falls..
And the more I think about life, the less sense it makes.
Memories of you also come alive when I’m alone behind these walls..
And if it was possible to forget them all, I’d do whatever it takes.The crazy thing is, I’d never admit…
Story of my life.
And apparently I created a whole story line in my head about what happened over the past few months… made me sound as if I was crazy! Honestly saying, I don’t think I wanna be in Barbados any more. I prefer to be around my family and my friends who I see ever so often. It’s better like that instead of being with someone 24/7… and by me saying that; I’m hurting people’s feelings.
Yesterday I was told that I don’t show much appreciation to my ‘best friend’ and that I say a lot of mean things to her which she takes to heart! Thing is, that’s my personality; I have a rough voice so it comes across as if I’m being mean and all that. But then she told me about a lot of things that she does for me… sounded as if she was reproaching me. That right there hurt me… I mean if I could have cooked a big feast to show her how much I appreciate every thing that she does for me, I would have. I mean sometimes I don’t ask for anything and she still does it, I guess that’s her personality but if she finds I’m not showing enough whatever.. stop! I don’t want anyone doing anything for me. So I guess from next year… sad to say but I think I’ll just keep to myself regardless of whoever and do every thing by myself and on my own.
Apparently people are offended by what I tweet when I’m expressing myself… so I guess Tumblr would be seeing more of me! :/